The Bridge 4 Us
These cards are designed for alienated family members to send to children and siblings as part of the reunification process. Their purpose is to reach out to family members with loving, caring and understanding thoughts. Some of them are simply cards of encouragement and love while others are intended to provoke a persons conscience and make them think about why they are not speaking to a rejected parent/grandparent brother or sister.
Cards are $6.00 each and include postage and handling (in the USA) . Custom orders are an extra $2.00. Cards can be mailed to a family member to send to the ones they love or can be sent from "The Bridge" along with a reconnection letter . Click on this link to order reconnection cards.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make sense of all of this. I’ve learned a lot and I think I understand why it happened. I’m struggling to fix it without talking to you. I understand if you’re not ready yet, but when you are, I think we can figure this out …together.
Some of the sweetest moments of my life were spent
watching you grow up.
I’m still here for you just like I was when you were little.
I love you more than you will ever know.
I know I've made some mistakes that led you to distance yourself from me. I understand a lot more now than I did years ago. I hope you'll give me a chance to take a step forward in a new and better relationship with you.
What it felt like to hold your hand and tell you that I love you.
I know things have changed between us and you’re not the little girl you used to be. But I’d love the chance to get to know the beautiful woman you have become and to once again tell you how much I love you.
I’m here when you’re ready.
I wonder how you are doing today. I’m sure you’re making someone smile. I wonder how your job is going, who your friends are, what new hobbies you have and what new favorite foods you are enjoying.
I wonder if you ever wonder about me.
If you do, you don’t need to wonder if I love you, if I would love to hear from you or if I want you to be a very important part of my life.
I ABSOLUTELY DO!
(just in case you wonder)
I’ve been learning a lot about what happened to our family. I know that there are deep hurts, confusing thoughts and angry feelings that still linger.
I can’t do anything to change the past, but I can do things to change the future and help ease the negative emotions. Our relationships can be something wonderful if we will come together. I am here for you.
I respect you.
I understand and
I’m willing to take this slowly.
And hoping that when you’re ready, you’ll reach back!
I know our relationship is not what it should be. I never thought we would be in this situation. I’m sorry that I didn’t do more to protect you during the divorce. I wish I could go back and change things. I would have made different choices.
I’ve learned and grown since that time, and I understand much more. I would like to be a part of your life, even in some small way. I’m ready when you are.
Everyone has moments in their life when they are afraid to do something.
I hope you will discover the truth of the situation you are dealing with today and follow through on what you know is the right thing to do.
It may not be easy but doing what’s right will set you free to be the amazing person you were created to be.
You can think for yourself. You have a strong heart and a powerful mind.
Will you choose me?
Hoping that when you’re ready,
you’ll choose to respond to
Until then, I hope you’ll hold on
to some of the good memories
you had from your early years!
I love you!
I know I can’t go back and make up for the time we lost, but, going forward, I can be a caring, supportive dad if you’ll just give me a chance.
I know you have hurts. Everybody does. I know there are things you may not want to talk about, and I respect that.
I’ve figured out some things about myself in the past few years. I ‘ve learned where some of our family’s hurts have come from. I would love to share what I’ve learned with you. It’s been liberating for me. It’s not that I’ve been able to fix every problem and resolve every complicated issue but understanding the “how” and “why” has helped me deal with life better.
You are half of me and I’m guessing that some of our struggles are similar. I can help if you let me. I’m here for you.
It’s harder to hold onto a negative
thought than it is to let it go.
We weren’t designed to carry animosity.
I want to work this out.
I’m here to listen.
We are never too broken to
be healed and never too far away
to find our way home.
Healed and home.
That’s what I want for us.
“There is no relationship that’s so broken that God cannot heal it.”
I believe this with all my heart!
I know God will fix what’s been
broken between us.
His specialty is reconciliation!
Let’s give God a chance to make
our relationship better than
we ever imagined.
I love you!
Everyone needs a little more love.
Today, I hope you are kind to others, not necessarily because they earned it, but because you are a kind person.
I hope you forgive people, not because they asked for it, but because you are a forgiving person.
I hope you’re compassionate towards others, not because they deserve it, but because you are a compassionate person.
To deny others, kindness, forgiveness and
compassion is to deny a part of who you are.
You are a kind, forgiving, compassionate person!
Someone needs you today more than you know. I know you’ll be there for them.
It’s just the way we’re supposed to be.
What can I do to make things better?
I’m here and I love you!
You are half of me. I know that’s something you may not want to think about right now, but that’s the truth. We share more than you think we do and I understand you far more than you know. I know that you have hurts, pain and anger because of what happened years ago. I know that you have unresolved issues. I know it’s hard on you when people ask about me. I’m sure you have some kind of short answer that keeps people from asking more questions. I know it’s awkward and you try to push it to the back of your mind as soon as a thought enters. I want you to be whole. If you could be whole and happy without resolving this, I would let it go. I know from talking to others who have been in your shoes, that it will hold you back from becoming who you were meant to be until we try to fix it.
I want you to shine brightly, my amazing son!
When you were little and you fell and scraped your knee, I could put a band-aid on it, kiss it and make it all better. When you were young, the solutions to life ‘s problems were simple to fix.
Now we’re adults and our hurts are a lot deeper and far more complicated. I know there are deep hurts between us, and I’ve been working hard to be the strong stable parent you need. I want you to know I’m here for you to lean on. I will be your rock and I will help you navigate the storms. I will step up and do my part to be the parent you need, but we can only fix this if we start working together. I know this is going to be challenging but I honestly believe it could be one of the most rewarding experiences either one of us will ever have in life. I believe that together, we can fix this. I believe there’s so much more we can do together. I’m here and I’m ready.
Years ago, you stopped communicating with me. Just days and weeks before the marriage separation, you and I had a good relationship. Looking back at it now I wonder if you think about why it changed so quickly. I know that you were confused and upset. We all were. It seems like one day I was a safe loving parent and almost overnight I became someone who should be cut out of your life. If you think about it, nothing changed between you and me. You were still a child who loved his mom and I was still a mom who loved her son. I know our responses weren’t the best, but the bottom line is we still loved each other very much. So, I ask myself, why are we still not communicating? Now you are an adult and can make your own decisions. I respect you. I believe in you and I know in my heart that if you go back and think it through, you will see that what happened wasn’t fair, right or good. I hope you’ll see that maybe it’s time to reach back. Maybe we can start by just sending one text a week to each other. What do you think?
I keep reaching out to you to
restore our relationship.
I apologize if it’s getting annoying
but you are my child.
I am bonded to you forever.
You are on my mind and in my
heart and it’s only natural that
I continue to work
I know I haven’t been at peace since our communication stopped. I’m thinking that there is a part of you that hasn’t had peace either. I know we’ve managed to move forward with our lives, but our broken relationship remains an unresolved issue. I’ve been working hard to live a peaceful life and I’ve been able to do it in many areas. I’d like to be at peace with you.
Is there one small thing I can do to get us started?
I know the things that kept us apart us are messy and confusing, but I’m willing to dig deep and figure out how we can have a healthy relationship.
I’m not afraid to get dirty as we work through this process. I believe that underneath all the pain, anger and apathy, there’s a beautiful relationship waiting to grow again.
I know you’re angry and hurt. It’s OK for you to tell me. We are adults now. I can only imagine that you are carrying some negative and painful feelings towards me. I don’t want your life to be burdened with damaging thoughts and emotions. If you’re mad at me, I understand and it’s ok.
Go ahead and tell me.
Take your best shot.
We once had a healthy relationship. It went missing years ago. I feel the loss of it all the time and I think, at times, you do too. I’m tired of missing you. I know we can find our way back to each other if we look to find a way together.
I’m trying to give you time and space, but time and space alone won’t heal your hurt. It’s what you do with the time and space that will help move you forward. It’s important to get good help as you’re trying to figure this out. What happened to us is so far from normal that neither one of us knew what to do when it was happening. Even the professionals who were supposed to be helping didn’t know what to do. Time alone won’t make this better. Here is the email of someone I’m working with who specializes in working with families like ours. It may be worth talking to her. She’s helped me. I think she will be able to help you too. If we don’t reunite right now, it’s ok. I just want you to have someone to talk to that gets it. [email protected]
I was hoping we could grab a bite together soon.
Call or text me !
There were so many mixed emotions when the divorce was happening. I know you were scared and confused, and I didn’t do a good job of easing your upset emotions.
It’s not that I didn’t want to… It’s that I was scared and confused too. My world was falling apart just like yours. I wish we could’ve held onto each other more tightly then, but it’s not too late. I didn’t know what to do then, but I know now. I hope we can talk about this soon.
Our relationship is on the rocks. I’d like to do what I can to get us to a better place, but I’m not sure what that is. I’m willing to take responsibility for all I’ve done that hurt you, apologize for my part in your painful journey, make changes in my own life to be the strong supportive parent you need and keep reaching out to let you know I’m here. If I can do something else, please let me know. My strongest desire is just to be right with you and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get there.
I wanted to reach out to you for some time, but I didn’t know what to say. As bad as our relationship is right now, I was afraid I could make it worse and push you even farther away. After thinking it through, I decided to risk it and reach out to you and just be completely authentic. Here it goes.
I don’t know what to say or do that will bring you back to me. I’m not sure of all the issues you have with me or the issues that resulted in your life because of the divorce.
I want so desperately to have a healthy relationship with you and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. If it takes effort, I’ll give you my all. If it takes time I’ll wait as long as you need. If it takes trust, I will take the steps to rebuild the trust we had. If it takes perseverance, I will hold on.
I think about you every day. I hope you’re happy and doing well. I never expected either one of us to be where we are. I just want to be in a right relationship with you. I would love to know what I can do to make things right.
Doing the right thing. Who can argue that? We were not designed for anger, bitterness, resentment, blame or apathy. It's time for both of us to the do the right thing.
I know we can get this right if we just talk it out.
"It's scary. What if people find out that I'm trying to reconnect with my mom? What will they do? Will they reject me? Will the stop supporting me? Will they never speak to me again?
If they really wanted what was best for me, they would want me to be healthy in all my relationships. They would be proud of me fir trying to reach out and make things better with someone. If I had a falling out with a friend, they would be proud that I was trying to repair it. I know that deep down the right thing to do is to try to make things better with my mom, but it's so scary. I don't know if I can jump over this fear of losing other people in my life. Why do I have to choose?
If this is where you are, I understand and I love you.
The road to reunification with someone can be long and challenging. The good news is, you don't have make this journey all the way by yourself. I'm already half way there and I'm willing to meet you right where you are. If you're angry, I'll listen. If you're confused, I'll try to give you clarity. If you don't care, I hope you will open your heart to the truth that a broken relationship with a parent will keep all your other relationships from being the best they can be. Let me know where you are and I'll be there. I love you.
Inside: If this was yours would you get it fixed? I'm guessing you would. You are a responsible person and you know to fix things that are broken in your life. You probably fix broken things every week. It takes time and effort, but I'm sure you're glad that the things you are responsible for are working properly. Our relationship is much the same. It's broken. So why aren't you willing to fix it? Have you been told that it;s beyond repair or not worth fixing? Material things might not be but people are different. People are irreplaceable and far more valuable than material goods. I hope that you attempt to fix all the broken relationships in your life, not just the one with me. What's holding you back from trying to make this right? I'm here and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be right with you.
It may seem impossible, but if we keep trying, anything is possible. I believe we can repair what has been broken and have the healthy relationship we were meant to have.
My lane is open! Relationships are two way streets. I know your lane to me is currently closed, but my lane is open. Because I love you, I want to communicate with you. I've been working hard on my side of the road to be the strong, supportive parent you need. I'll always be making improvements, but my lane is open and I want you to know you can talk to me anytime.